Last Updated: August 5, 2024

In this leadership letter, I want to share with you the following:

Imagine a world where you are truly unstoppable. Every obstacle melts away before you. When you set your mind to something, you take action, and it transforms into your new reality. In this world, every setback is a stepping stone, and every loss is a lesson that propels you forward. You learn from each experience, grow stronger with every challenge, and rise higher each time you fall.

What would such a world mean for you?

For me, that world wasn’t just a fairytale—it was a vision I desperately wanted to bring to life. I wanted more than just to go through the motions, waiting for life to happen to me. I knew something crucial was missing from my life. One day, I discovered it, and it has changed the course of my life ever since.

You can believe in yourself, know your strengths, and have all the faith in the world that you can achieve anything you set your mind to, but without the confidence to act, all your thoughts become wasted energy.

Confidence is the key. For many of us, it remains hidden, trapped in shadows of doubt, fear, anxiety, depression, self-criticism, and self-loathing.

It’s not your fault that it remains hidden.

The interesting thing about confidence is that it often requires the help of others to uncover it and set it free. Unfortunately, for most of us, our closest friends, family, teachers, and coaches unintentionally squash our confidence with relentless criticism, condemnation, and judgment.

The good news is that confidence can be rebuilt no matter how much it has been suppressed or how deep it has been buried. Your mind and body are resilient, and your spirit is indomitable.

When I hired Devin as a sales specialist, I knew he had the potential to excel. Though he had some experience, this position required him to delve deeper into the sales game by challenging his current reality.

Day one of his new position was like any new beginning—filled with uncertainty and the unknown. But this day was different. The new expectations were higher, the target goals bigger, the requests came in truckloads, and information poured like water from a firehose. It wasn’t easy, and he would have to come back and face it all again on day two.

Day two took immense courage for Devin. He approached me for a private conversation, ready to step back and give up on himself. But I saw the potential and greatness lying just beneath the surface—potential he couldn’t yet see. When he uttered those six powerful words, “I hate giving up on myself,” I knew hope existed. I asked him to give me two months. If, after two months, he still felt the same, I promised to help him transition to another position.

He accepted the challenge. On day three, I focused on one crucial element: building his confidence. It didn’t take long and it didn’t take much—just a few tweaks to help him learn the systems of his new role. But it was more than just systems. Devin needed to embrace mistakes and the fear of not knowing everything as part of his learning process.

He took on the challenge like a true champion, winning every day since. It hasn’t been all rainbows and butterflies, but even on tough days with setbacks, his mindset remains strong. He’s learned to turn moments of fear into triumphs, proving that with confidence, anything is possible.

The path to becoming a winner in life starts with a simple yet profound step: harnessing the power of positive self-talk and self-coaching. This step is about changing the narrative in your mind, transforming self-doubt into self-belief, and cultivating the confidence needed to tackle any challenge. By actively engaging in positive self-talk, you can start to rewire your thinking, reinforce your strengths, and build a resilient mindset that propels you toward personal success.

Positive self-talk is a powerful tool, yet it’s something most of us were never taught. From a young age, we receive plenty of guidance on external skills like math, science, and language, but very little on how to manage our internal dialogue. Without this knowledge, many of us fall into patterns of negative self-talk, which can undermine our confidence and limit our potential.

Imagine your mind as a garden. If left untended, weeds of negativity and doubt can take over. But with conscious effort and positive self-talk, you can plant seeds of confidence and success, nurturing them to flourish.

This may sound a little too "soft" for someone if they believe their world is driven solely by hard facts and tangible results. However, the reality is that our internal dialogue profoundly influences our actions, decisions, and ultimately, our success. Positive self-talk isn't just about feeling good—it's about building the fortitude and confidence necessary to navigate challenges, seize opportunities, and achieve our goals. It’s when you change the narrative that you keep telling yourself that you change the story of your life.

Self-Coaching: The Next Level of Inner Development

While positive self-talk is crucial, self-coaching takes it a step further. Self-coaching is the practice of guiding yourself through challenges, setting goals, and holding yourself accountable. It’s about developing a proactive approach to your personal and professional growth, rather than just reacting to situations as they arise.

Think of self-coaching as having an inner mentor. This mentor not only encourages you through positive self-talk but also helps you strategize, plan, and execute your actions. Self-coaching involves asking yourself powerful questions, reflecting on your experiences, and continually pushing yourself to improve. It’s about holding counsel with yourself and learning to listen to your instincts and inner wisdom.

Here’s how self-coaching differs from and complements self-talk:

Positive Self-Talk: This is about changing the narrative in your mind, replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations, and building confidence. It’s the foundation for a healthier mindset.

Self-Coaching: This involves taking an active role in your development by setting goals, creating action plans, and holding yourself accountable. It’s about applying that positive mindset to real-world actions and decisions.

By combining positive self-talk with self-coaching, you create a holistic approach to personal growth. Positive self-talk builds your confidence, while self-coaching ensures you channel that confidence into productive actions. Together, they empower you to overcome obstacles, achieve your goals, and transform your life.

Self-talk and self-coaching are critical to building your confidence, but you first have to turn risk and the fear of failure into stepping stones to personal success. How you do that is what I’m sharing in my next blog post: “How To Turn The Fear of Failure Into Personal Success."

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