Last Updated: July 23, 2024

Good leaders consider what they are doing or not doing toward that goal to reach it.

In this leadership letter, I’m going to share with you:

You most likely read books in high school and college, believing that the knowledge you gained would lead to financial and professional rewards.

My guess is that after just a few years in the real world of business and professional life, you quickly became disillusioned.

Suppose you peel the layers back to uncover the real reasons behind successful leaders. In that case, you’ll find they are the ones who possess the ability to talk well, influence people positively, and “sell” themselves and their ideas.

Where do you learn how to do this? The fact that people, decades after leaving high school or college, sign up for courses and seminars to learn how to be an effective leader is a glaring indicator that our educational system is not where you’ll learn this.

Traditional leadership is usually the first step in learning to become a leader. Many people adopt it as their way.

It starts by watching what someone else in a leadership role does. Then, they imitate what they see. They hear those leaders talk, so they talk the same way. They listen to what they hear from them and begin to think like them. But they never consider anything other than “Are people completing their job.” If they are completing the work you ask them to do, then you believe you are leading.

Other indicators of traditional leadership might look more militant in form. Barking orders, directing people, and telling them what to do is what many would consider “leadership.”

Other times, if your team isn’t delivering the results you are looking for, all meetings or inspirational moments become dress-downs. Motivation takes the form of threats. Finally, cuts happen.

This isn’t necessarily all bad…or all good.

I want you to remember this quote if you take anything away from reading this.

The quickest way to constant frustration in leadership is to try to make the worldview fit your reality. But to connect and inspire people to your way of thinking, you must positively influence their reality.

How do the most effective leaders accomplish this?

They do this by taking a non-traditional approach to leadership. This approach has different ideas, but a common thread holds them together. There are four pillars connecting everything any good leadership team puts on it:

People follow and do things for people they like and ultimately respect.

I first realized people didn’t want to listen to my leadership direction when I was a twenty-three-year-old Marine Seargent.

It was my duty to lead about six personnel in our small shop. Our duties were to oversee the pilots' flight equipment. This was multi-million dollars worth of taxpayers' money and the lives of every pilot that flew or any crew that went with them.

If something went wrong, I had to answer for the things I signed off on. I had to ensure my team followed the guidelines to keep myself out of Leavenworth. No mistakes, no second chances.

I started with the traditional approach to leadership. I got results but didn’t make friends, nor was there a team atmosphere. They argued with me. They did the least amount of work to pass as work. No matter how I tried to “motivate” them, they didn't put in any extra effort. And, as soon as work was done, they split as quickly humanly possible.

On one of my deployments, I studied new material (besides what the Marine Corps issued me) on how to lead people. I wanted to know how to be more persuasive without being a manipulator or a dictator. I wanted them to respect me and like me.

The first thing I learned about winning people to your side of thinking was that you need to understand them. It sounds like common sense now, but it was a revelation back then.

I took this newfound knowledge and put it into action. To my amazement, it worked like magic. I learned more about my team rather than being some cold-hearted reptile. I realized everyone is going through something, and everyone has a strength.

This led me to the second part of good leadership - development.

Good leaders develop their teams. They first find and match the team member’s strengths with a particular job. Doing that allows each team member to work in their “zone of genius.” It also benefits the team because each member (regardless of size) stays motivated to do what ultimately keeps them happy.

A good leader builds the individual in each job by setting them up for success. You do this by giving them the training and tools to accomplish the milestones and goals you set for the job.

But for them to succeed in their “working genius,” you have to provide the proper coaching. The third pillar, coaching, comes in different styles. But the style I find that works nine out of ten times with people is the one where you do more cultivating than criticizing or condemning. Here, it is about building each team member’s confidence so they are prepared to handle all circumstances independently.

If you have to micromanage, you aren’t leading.

This takes us to the last pillar, encouragement. We all are filled with fears and doubts that lead to anxiety and depression. We fear the unknown, failing, making mistakes, looking foolish, being judged, and ultimately being rejected.

No one is an overnight success. Good leaders uncover what’s needed to help someone win. It might be that they are in the wrong position, or they might just need the right tools. Other times, someone just needs development. No matter what it is, good leadership looks inwardly at what they are doing (or not doing) to help the team (or team member) win.

As a leader, it is your responsibility to do the right thing. That is reviewing your process and realizing what missing or needs improvement. Sometimes, what you aren’t doing is causing the bottlenecks.

All great leaders learn to talk well and “sell” themselves and their ideas. If you want to take the next step in leadership, read my next letter about How To Talk One-to-Few or One-to-Many With Confidence.

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